A glimpse into my thoughts and views ^^

2010-12-02T01:27:00.001+08:00

It has been happening in my dreams so far.
But I still can't see the ending, how very frustrating.

2010-11-23T00:47:00.001+08:00

Today, I realised that I do feel insecure about myself sometimes.
FML.

2010-11-21T01:55:00.002+08:00

Had a kfc meal alone facing a mirror lol.
I got a really good look at myself after all these years
Well..
My face has gotten rounder (And unfortunately, fatter)
But my big smile's still the same ^^

2010-11-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

You know, some songs can describe how one feels.
For example.
After that 5 day 4 night trip where I met her..
This song suits my feelings best lol.

Well..
When she has a boyfriend already..

Not that I'm being emo.
It's just an expression of my thoughts.

2010-11-15T01:09:00.002+08:00

That's why this corner is only for you, my friend.

I seriously wonder if there's gonna be a new story.
For one thing, I'm pretty much lucky and blessed lol.
It would be disappointing to say that..
I'm single, but not available lol.

2010-11-14T01:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, when I wonder if that tweet's about me.
My mind goes somewhere along the lines of..
"ARRRRUUUGGGHH!"
But logically thinking, there's a chance it's me.

So, I can only say..
It was never your fault.
Just that I waited, and waited.
For a feeling that was never meant to be reciprocated.
I still care about you, albeit in a different way.
I will remain in this corner like I always have.
Like I said, I'm here for you if you need me.

Enough said.
On the other hand, I went to USS today ^^
It's pretty much enjoyable whenever I'm there haha.
People there still remember me! (:

2010-11-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

Just what am I doing?
Why am I even doing all this..

2010-11-11T22:16:00.002+08:00

Some places hold quite a lot of memories.
Amk, in particular.
Seeing you in another guy's arms, I can only acknowledge.
That guy, was probably older than me I think.
My gut feeling tells me he'd probably be a graduate.
Oh ya, same CCA too.
I'm still appreciating being single, and enjoying it ^^

2010-11-01T22:30:00.003+08:00

VP wants me to stay, well..
Let's look at the things on hand to handle.
School, business, racing.
Add work in, and whoa, I'm pretty much stretched lol.
I can handle 3 things, but 4 would be a challenge ^^

2010-10-27T21:39:00.003+08:00

Something in me is craving for that speed again.
That feeling of wind rushing into the face.

2010-10-26T22:40:00.001+08:00

I've gotten over her for sure.
Went to Kartright speedway today with jervis.
$26 for 10mins of karting really damn shiok lol.

2010-10-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

Hey I told you I'll be happy for you.
Now who's getting sad and emo here?
(Well, I really am -.-)
Seeing you emo hurts me even more you know.
I'd rather you be happy with him, and just ignore me.

2010-10-24T00:37:00.002+08:00

Like what I've said before.
I'll be happy for you, and give you my blessings (:
I hope you can be happy as always ^^

I'll be in this corner of mine, occasionally glancing.

2010-10-24T00:14:00.001+08:00

Why are you reading my blog?

That's some food for thought lol.

2010-10-23T09:20:00.001+08:00

"w/o u is like a puzzle missing a piece"
Whatever it is, that person ain't me.
I'd prefer this position of mine, in a corner observing ^^
Even if she really has a boyfriend, it won't matter anymore.

I've been having too much fun at my internship to care.

2010-10-17T21:30:00.001+08:00

I don't know how many of such mini heart attacks I can take.
Everytime I look at anything related to you, it happens.
I almost fainted today, who knows what will happen next?

2010-10-17T00:05:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling like I got shot in the heart again.
I'll expect the unexpected.
I'm still in the process of moving on.
Take it as a driver starting the engine, will you?

2010-10-14T16:59:00.002+08:00

Heartbroken still.
But I'm moving on, and I don't wanna look back.
My heart aches even when I look at her name.
Enough pain already.

2010-10-02T23:17:00.001+08:00

Like the title of this blog..
It's a glimpse into my thoughts.
My thoughts, are still filled with her.
Memories that I don't want to lose.

2010-09-28T06:27:00.000+08:00

I hate the way internship messes with my time.
Not like I've got a choice anyway -.-

2010-09-24T10:04:00.000+08:00

Just about describes how I feel lol.
Almost.
The amount of time I have to myself is getting less =/

2010-09-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

I can only return to the position that I've taken before.
I can only stand by and watch over you from this corner of mine.
It doesn't matter where I stand, your happiness does.
It has, and is still my priority (:

From the past few days of casual observation..
I realised that a person's twitter does tell a lot about a person.
It's all from the way the person thinks, haha

2010-09-20T00:44:00.002+08:00

I've still not done what I want to do.
She's still unhappy somehow.
To the extent of feeling that life is meaningless?
Seeing her like this somehow still saddens me.

2010-09-18T22:42:00.002+08:00

NOW I KNOW WHY SHE'S IGNORING ME.
I definitely feel much better.

And thus, from here begins a new story..

2010-09-18T00:46:00.003+08:00

Because of a twist in the storyline, it'll be extended.
Just one last chapter, before I send it to her.
Does she know how hurt and guilty I feel right now?
Or maybe, she's feeling the same too?
There's a lot of "what if" situations running through my mind.
If only I can change something back in time.
The past 9 months have been really trying.

2010-09-11T00:30:00.002+08:00

Yup, ended for sure now.
Every line was penned with emotions.
She might not get a chance to read it, coz I won't hurt her.
Even so, I feel happier for now.

2010-09-08T23:08:00.001+08:00

The story's ending soon.
But then, it's only the start of another story.

2010-09-08T00:00:00.002+08:00

I've got the answer already.
If only she'd tell me whether I'm correct.
I'll probably be too busy to be bothered.
So long.

"With a final step and a broken heart, he decided to walk out
of her life."
That marks the end of the chapter, and the beginning of a new one

2010-09-06T00:21:00.001+08:00

Wth is all this happening anyway?
I can only try and recall everything to find the answer.

2010-09-05T14:52:00.001+08:00

This song fits my mood right now.

Lol, if you're reading my blog, this is how I feel.
Afterall, your happiness is my priority.

2010-09-03T03:59:00.003+08:00

Even facebook's encouraging me to reach out to her
By writing on her wall, that is, wtf -.-
Even so, the ball is in her court right now.
I can only wait for an answer that might never come.

2010-09-01T17:04:00.001+08:00

Looks like the story will be delayed due to my exams.
Anyway, here's a song for her, lol.

Lol, 我的爱只能让你一个人独自拥有..

But yet, this had to happen.

2010-08-27T11:40:00.002+08:00

After finishing several books, I've realised something.
Successful people are in a totally different league.
I'll elaborate more if asked.

On the other hand, first chapter should be up soon.

2010-08-24T01:29:00.002+08:00

Let's start with a.. introduction?

As to what inspired me to write this little story here,
I'll keep it a little secret that I might just forget anyway.
But this, is something that I'm going to put my best efforts into.
For it tells of a real life experience for the characters involved.
This story starts back from 3 years ago, in 2007.
And I'll slow reveal it on this blog, chapter by chapter.

2010-08-24T01:18:00.003+08:00

I feel like writing a story.
It's been so long since I've last written a narrative lol.
Almost 7 years.
I used to be good at it, then I switched to exploratory essays =O
And then I've stopped writing essays or short stories in poly -.-
I feel somewhat inspired to write tonight.

Based on a real life experience, non-fiction stuff.
Plot setting: Malaysia and Singapore
Aiya whatever la, the rest will start in the story in the next post.

2010-08-22T11:21:00.001+08:00

"I'm the girl in the pink jacket"
Nostalgic eh?
Only one person would know what I mean.
If she remembers, that is.

2010-08-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

Finally sorted out my feelings.
This feels really good. ^^

2010-08-15T16:31:00.001+08:00

Why can't I get out of this slump like before?
I'm not in the right frame of mind to do anything at all.
Wth.

2010-08-11T01:42:00.003+08:00

I've been doing plenty of self reflection since that day.
Or rather, a recollection of memories.
Memories.
I wish that I can forget something though.
Forget about my feelings for her.
And know her, all over again.
It'd be much better this way.

2010-08-08T14:44:00.002+08:00

I came out of this shit to emerge as a stronger person.
As to what exactly happen, it won't be revealed since it's the past.
But man, two heartaching blows over the span of 3 days.
It literally tore me apart, until I decided that..
I got hurt, because I allowed myself to.

2010-08-03T23:42:00.001+08:00

I wonder how much of such torture I can take.
It's both mental and physical torture.
But I'm not giving in.. for now.

2010-07-30T01:16:00.001+08:00

And with that, I've inflicted a deep wound onto myself.
At the same time, leave to the position I've taken in the past.
I will return.

2010-07-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

爱,只有简单笔画，却比想象复杂..

2010-07-28T19:42:00.002+08:00

3rd day since virus was first discovered.
SBM's printing shop didn't do anything positive about it.
They only put up a signing saying it's not their responsibility
If we get virus by putting in our thumbdrive, wth.
This shows that they are not responsible, and no ownership.
They are the ones mainly causing the spread of this damned virus.
And now they wanna lose business?
Whatever it is, I ain't printing there anymore.
Now I need to back up my stuff before clearing out my thumbdrive.
Today, was one of my angriest presentations ever lol.

My emotions have also taken a rollercoaster ride these few days.

2010-07-25T14:50:00.002+08:00

I can't figure out why I can still smile when I talk to you.
Despite all of these damned projects that are stressing me out lol.

Even so, it's inevitable eh.
I wondered what would have happened if I took another step back then.
Maybe things would be different right now lol.

2010-07-23T18:17:00.003+08:00

Busy stuff keeps me busy.
I'll recount what I need to do for now.
CRM: Survey questions.
MR: Transcript for focus group.
GSCM: Elaborate and paragraph peini's part.
Entrep: Can't recall what to do. Print finance spreadsheets?
Conbeh: Look for Toyota showroom, arrange interview with salesman.
RSM: Individual project at ALT, ICA 3 with group, blog.

Total no. of stuff to be done, 7.
No. of stuff due next week, 5.
Days till next week comes, 3.
How to chiong?

2010-07-22T03:25:00.002+08:00

I can only use one word to describe everything so far.
Hectic's the word.
Why do we have 6 projects due next week? Wtf?
Until now, I still can't figure why talking to you makes me smile.
Even if the topic's supposed to be somewhat serious lol.
From here on, I've confirmed that you're not reading this ^^

2010-07-17T01:06:00.002+08:00

She asked me the reasons why I like her.
This, almost got me lost for words.
Coz what really went through my mind was..
"Love is unconditional, and I love you for who you are (:"

Is she trying to ask me to name physical attributes?
If so, I've got plenty of reasons.
Even if it's about her personality and character..
I still got plenty of reasons too.
I am still afraid to overwhelm her.
What the fuck am I doing anyway?

2010-07-16T23:32:00.002+08:00

Oh wtf is this, wj.
She only replied your msg and you're smiling away.
Ahahaha.
It's about time that I've to face reality.
Going to the ICU after my ICA was traumatising.
I nearly cried.
I called her, but she didn't even open her eyes to look at me.
I comforted myself thinking that she's sleeping.
I dread going to the hospital.
Going to the ICU amplifies this dreaded feeling. >.<

2010-07-16T03:58:00.002+08:00

There's a lot of things I wanna tell her.
But I'm afraid to overwhelm her.
I don't know what I should, and could have done.

You know it ain't a crush or infatuation.
I am currently an emotional wreck lol.
Nothing about CRM gets into my head at all.
And my test's in exactly 12 hours, I'm screwed already.

2010-07-15T23:36:00.002+08:00

I'm on the verge of breaking down.
I really am.
I can't handle school, business, and family all at once.
I'm getting stressed from ALL sides.
I need to cool off.

2010-07-14T05:00:00.002+08:00

Note to self: Be in the position that I used to be.
A bystander.
But yet cushion her when she falls.
Make her cheer up when she's sad.
Make her smile.

I know for sure, she's not reading my blog.
Haha.
Maybe, it's coz of my feelings for her that made me grow up.
Love, isn't about being in a relationship, that's for sure.

我只好把我想说的话都方放在心里，因为我只想要你开心

2010-07-12T21:38:00.003+08:00

I've realised, some of my posts are getting emotional.
This too, is no exception.

Nowadays, when I tell you of my feelings occasionally..
That spark has disappeared, that insane jolt of electricity.
It's not because my feelings has faded.
But rather, I am very sure of my feelings.
You've asked me before how am I to confirm my feelings.
My only answer was "Time will tell the truth"
And it did.
Back then, I thought guys who cried over girls were wimps.
It wasn't until I went through it, that I really understand.
For the first time, I was weeping over you.

But alas, things were not like back then.
I'm stopping myself from contacting you.
There are many reasons behind this..
But the main reason is still,
I love you, and I want you to be happy, even if it means I get hurt.
Everyday, I thought of you, and it's not good.
It feels as though a dagger is stabbing me everytime.
In the end, I didn't want to tell you all of this.
Because I don't want you to get sad over me.
Because I want you to be happy, even if it's without me.

I told you before, love isn't about possession.
You said that I was cheem.
It's just that I've went through more things in life.
For now, you won't understand why I'm forcing myself.
For everything I've told you about, is in the future.
A future that I am creating right now.
I'll keep the promise that I've made to you.

2010-07-11T12:52:00.003+08:00

In 2 and half years time, things will change.
Or at the most, 6 and half years time.
It may sound like I've got time on my hands.
But unfortunately, things are not what it seems to be.
After this period of time, she'd be a graduate.
She's gonna enter the society's workforce.
She's gonna meet real men, men who are richer.
Men who are more interesting than me.
Men who are.. Well it's along those lines.
NS is really.. I can't quite comment much can I?
Defend the country hahaha.
I won't hold back anymore.
I can't afford to hold back already.
Someone once told me this before.
"If it's not worth fighting for, it's not worth having"
She's not an object, but the same rules apply I guess.

2010-07-11T00:15:00.003+08:00

What a interesting day.
Woke up damn early to go to hougang.
But still reached there late coz I didn't estimate the time.
Getting the materials and preparing was plain strenuous.
Esther's bag was light at first.
But somehow got heavier with muscle fatigue -.-
Transcribing is tough shit lol.
Couldn't catch what the participants were saying.
I was reduced to just typing the label to indicate who was speaking.
Curry chicken with rice at the jia xiang mian was good lol.
Although the curry was really too spicy for my liking.
I'm damn tired now lol.

But yet, I still came online hoping for you to be online.
I'm stupid lol.

2010-07-10T00:15:00.003+08:00

It is the people who define a company culture.
It's not about the office size, or the facilities available.
With that, I made a important decision today.

On a side note, I'm the transcriber for focus group tmr.
Nervous with all that typing coming up.
It's truly a test of my typing speed lol.

Somehow, I'm in control of my emotions.
I can focus on my priorities somehow.
And I will definitely improve.

2010-07-09T00:08:00.003+08:00

There are people who don't keep to their words.
And, they look down on us, labelling us as "kids".
So, that's how adults are supposed to be like huh.
Sorry but I won't be that person.

Anyway, in my bid to relax and let off some steam..
I tried to get into the mood to write a song for her.
While looking for inspiration..
I chanced upon a pretty good song lol.
I realised, that a song can be simple
But yet, it can be so expressive..

Well, it's a pretty good old classic song to me lol

2010-07-08T02:17:00.002+08:00

The change has finally been announced.
It's another milestone, a new chapter.
Well, for one thing, the people won't change.
It's a upgrading of the software ^^

It wasn't until the recent events that led me to think.
"What do I wanna achieve before I pass on?"
I wouldn't wanna live a normal life as a working adult.
I want a more.. exciting lifestyle.
But most importantly, I want her in my life.

I wonder if she's reading this..

2010-07-04T14:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was pretty eventful.
Therefore, it's gonna be a pretty long post.

Thanks to my project, I had to visit a Nestle convention -.-
And just as expected, it's full of elderlys yo.
But being a majority of Nestle's exhibits..
There's plenty of coffee, chocolate, and milk.
The expresso's really good ^^
One shot got me wide awake LOL.
Apparently I felt kinda high after that lol o.o

Lunch at Kiliney in marina square.
Curry chicken's pretty good hahaha.
Plenty of pictures were taken with the gang.
I don't think I've taken so many pics in a day before lol.

Then we took the train to some ulu place called Fernville.
Not Farmville, but Fernville to check out a place.
Too bad pei ni lost her bracelet there, and decided not to find it.
Walking around at compass point was damn boring lol.

Went to town after that for dinner and movie.
Cafe cartel seems to have some pretty nice ambience lol.
The fact that it was twilight added on to the relaxation.
Watching the people go by, and being deep in my thoughts..
Somehow, my mind began to wander off elsewhere.
I began to think of her, again.

Watched a movie after that.
Ip man: A legend is born.
Being a prologue to the rest of the series, that's all I'd say.
It was pretty good at some parts.
Just that it wasn't quite as epic as the first two movies lol

2010-07-02T16:51:00.001+08:00

I should probably change my blogskin.
Or create a new one.

2010-07-02T01:17:00.001+08:00

There is only so much that I can do alone.

2010-06-30T00:36:00.003+08:00

You said your life is a bittersweet symphony.
I feel like I wanna change it to a joyous melody lol.
K it makes no sense at all.

Anyway, it's back to school life again.
Along with projects, sigh.

2010-06-29T01:47:00.002+08:00

Haha, me, scoring 37 out of 40 for supply chain management?
UNBELIEVABLE!
And then I scored 33 out of 50 for my marketing research -.-
I'd need a quantum leap in my gpa, and I'll achieve just that!

I'm now able to focus more to what I want.
Thanks for waking me back to reality (:

2010-06-27T02:10:00.002+08:00

Dammit I actually had to waste time being emotional.
Whatever it is, I'll improve, and also at the same time..
Charge towards my goals!!
Only after that, then I'll talk to you again.
No more time to get bored and distract myself.

2010-06-27T00:40:00.002+08:00

Is she staying online, waiting for me to talk to her?
Well, part of me thinks this way.
The other part?
Nah, she's just doing her projects and tutorials that's why.
A imaginary part, and a logical part.
My left and right brains at work XD

Whatever it is, please, no third blow.
I don't know how much more I can take..

2010-06-26T20:54:00.002+08:00

Just when I finally extricated myself from this.
Here comes another blow, wtf?
I can only pray for my grandma.

2010-06-26T10:59:00.001+08:00

I've gotten over it.
Heck, this is about emotions lol.
Well, what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
I'm now more focused already ^^
Thanks to her, lol.

Now, it's time to unleash everything I've got.

2010-06-25T13:49:00.004+08:00

I had a weird dream.
I normally don't dream in my sleep.
If I do, it somehow comes true some time down the road.
Which kinda leaves me with a deja vu feeling lol.

I dreamt of myself having a nice dinner with you.
(Man the steak looked kinda nice =d)
It didn't seem like us right now.
For one thing, I was driving.
And I don't wanna get my license within this year yet lol.

I'm alone in my room, thinking of you at a rate that is truly alarming

2010-06-24T04:07:00.002+08:00

"Beauty queen of only 18 she, had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her she, always belonged to someone else"
I'm just being random, LOL.
I can't believe I'm blogging at 5am in the morning.
With thoughts of her flooding my mind as usual.

It has literally made me shut up and sit down to think.
Self reflection, meditation even.
I was retracing the time before all the way till now.
I conclude that I've screwed up when I let the cat out of the bag.
The following paragraphs should explain why.
Along with some of my thoughts too lol

I'm normally okay with talking to other ladies.
It's pretty much a big improvement from before..
But when it comes to her, I just clam up like a clam.
This, is clearly a serious issue.

Being in love with someone is one thing, a relationship another.
There's responsibilities to uphold.
Come to think of it.. There were other suitors back then.
I overcame my inferiority complex coz of that o.O
Even so, back then she asked me a question too.
"Why didn't you give up?"
"Heck, I really love you, and want to be with you"
My reply was somewhere along that line.
Till now, the feelings still remain the same, only stronger.

Another thing, it happened too soon, it wasn't in my plans.
I didn't intend to let her know that fast.
Man, I sure miss those long convo over msn lol.
It was one of those convo that gave me away somehow o.O
I didn't want to go after her yet, coz I knew she's not ready.
I must have screwed up somewhere..

Now, "improve my skill"
It came across to me as "Man, you suck, not good enough"
This, calls for a improvement in several aspects.
But to sum it all, it's literally ALL aspects.

Confession doesn't mean immediate relationship.
It doesn't work this way.
It just means, there's a suitor haha.
And there were other suitors back then.
I've told her before, I'd still be happy for her.
Even if she doesn't end up with me.

I took that deadly blow head-on.
I may seem like I was kidding.
But I was really heart broken.
Even until now while typing, my heart still aches.
Maybe more time will heal the wound this deep.
It reminds me of another song.
I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love~
Man, this song makes me get kind of emotional.

Anyway, retracing those msn conversations..
The final conclusion is still..
I really messed up. Big time.

There's no way for me to repair this.

2010-06-23T11:21:00.004+08:00

I feel kinda weird.
Heck this is one rejection that I can't quite face.
And I'm supposed to be working on my project right now.
UGH.
I've to get over this mental block somehow.
It sucks, I hate it.
However, on the other hand..
I've to improve to win her heart.
Ah. Putting it in this perspective makes things better lol.
She's waiting at the other end of the finish line eh.
(Man this shit's starting to remind me of Super Mario)
Speaking of which..

Enjoy lol.

2010-06-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

It's kinda weird how the feeling of rejection is sinking in right now.
And yes, it is heartbreaking.
It makes me feel down.
But at the same time, it gives me motivation.
Motivation to improve myself further lol.

2010-06-22T23:16:00.004+08:00

I survived! I'm glad to be alive lol.
But still.. she told me she won't go out with me >.<
Well, this calls for an improvement!
For now, I'll call this, "Dating skill".
In my business so far, I've met different kinds of ppl.
But she's the only lady whom I really want to be with lol.
Come to think of it, I've read quite a few books already.
And I'm certainly not applying what I've read!

The next few years will be a revolutionary change for me eh.
To attract you, to be a better person. ^^
I'd wanna change your life of a bittersweet symphony..
To one that tells of a lovely melody =P
Oh well, that one liner came true lol.
She's my heart heart heart heart heartbreaker >.<
That is why, I need improvement.
(Eh shit, this line actually fits in LOL)

2010-06-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

I realised how emotional my posts have gotten.
Have I been weakened? Or am I stronger now?
Emotions, is like a double edged sword.
One side kills you, but one side helps you.
For now, it's both sides for me at the same time.

2010-06-19T19:02:00.002+08:00

"You're my heart heart heart heart heartbreaker"
That, was the one liner.
It may, or may not come true.
Even so, thoughts of you filled my mind everyday.
You're the first and last thing on my mind.
I can't tell you enough of my feelings for you.
It's not the feeling of being lovestruck anymore.
The novel feeling worn off ever since I confessed to you.
But the same feelings still remain.

Probably, you didn't understand why I'm forcing myself.
You won't understand for now, but one can't survive on love.
I am ambitious, and I simply won't be contented easily.
But catching just a glimpse of you made me smile the whole day.
I am content, to be able to talk to you in person, or on msn.

Months ago, there was a email from me to you.
A email that confessed how I really felt about you.
You asked me a question that needed time as a answer.
Now, I dare to say, my heart really feels that way.
That way which says "I love you"
I can never be good enough for you.
I don't care about the other girls out there,
because you're the only one I'd want to be with.
Nonetheless, I'll continue waiting, and preparing.

Probably right now, I've come across as annoying, or irritating.

2010-06-18T23:27:00.002+08:00

I hope that it's not the line that I'm preparing for.
I can only pray, that it ain't gonna happen.
Even so, I'm prepared.
I really won't want that one liner joke to come true u know.

2010-06-18T01:49:00.000+08:00

Making that promise to you was one thing.
Thoughts of you flooding my mind, is another.
I wonder what I can do now.

2010-06-17T01:44:00.001+08:00

UURRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!
This best describes the mood I'm in right now.

2010-06-16T01:52:00.002+08:00

Ever since that day I analysed of this possibility..
Well, I've been trying to prepare myself to face this.
The fact is, well, truth hurts, but I'm okay.
It's only a possibility.

Speaking of which, final year poly life sure is hectic eh..
All 6 modules have got projects to do during this term break.
I'm still thinking this is secretly a project break in disguise.
Whatever the terminology used, I still hate it.

2010-06-15T09:51:00.002+08:00

Apparently, change really, is the only constant in life.
Heck I remember writing an essay about this topic before.
That was back in gess, for a argumentative essay =O
I've to keep up with the changing world, or risk being outdated.
给我你的爱，让我背着你去未来~

2010-06-14T14:59:00.001+08:00

This is gonna be short.
I need to change.
Change to become the man worthy of her.
Change, to be a better person, a better student.
Change, to be a better son, too.
Change, to prepare myself for the changes that will come.

2010-06-14T00:33:00.001+08:00

Telling you of my plans, is the biggest promise I ever made.
Until then, you'd know what I'm gonna say, eh?

2010-06-11T15:46:00.004+08:00

Why is it that every post there is, seems to scream one thing.
Every post literally screams in my face something
That statement is..

"I'M IN LOVE!"

And no, I'm not talking about my posts.
I'm talking about her posts.
I can't deny this feeling that I have lost somehow.
I can only accept, and wait and see.
From what I've analysed so far, it's still consistent leh.
Exams might be over, but the stress is still there.
Thanks to all my 6 modules having projects, dammit.

Did I forget to mention, that everytime I talk to u..
It keeps me motivated to go for my dreams and goals.
That it gives me a sense of bliss too?
I really don't mind if u're not with me.
I'd be selfish if I'm unhappy to see u with other guys.
I'd rather look on the brighter side.
That is to be happy for u, coz u're happy with the other person.

2010-06-11T00:04:00.003+08:00

While thinking of her again, I found myself asking.
"What is the definition of a girlfriend?"
It was thought-provoking, coz I've seen too many cases already.
The guy thought he was in a relationship with the girl.
But to the girl, it's just a normal platonic friendship.
Hmm.

2010-06-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

It just happens that I'm not exactly an average guy.
I am ambitious, and I'm a dreamer too.
It's just that I'm going to accomplish what I want.
I won't be joining in the rat race.
Until then, no dates, no girlfriend.
Until then, I hope she doesn't mind waiting =P
Like I said before, I'm prepared to see you with another guy.
I'd want her to be happy even if it means sadness for me, lol.

2010-06-03T22:26:00.002+08:00

"I just wanna know if u feel the same
Where you at, where you at.
Someday when I'm called,
You will notice that I'm already standing beside you."
Damn, I find myself thinking of her again.
Like how it has always been huh.
I wonder if she's reading this.
Even so, it doesn't quite matter lol.

2010-06-03T22:18:00.001+08:00

Slightly more than one week to go!
After that it's the hols... But wait.
6 projects to do wtf?
Anyway it's the Great Singapore Sales.
I'm going shopping first, LOL.

2010-06-01T19:44:00.002+08:00

After some thinking, I came to a conclusion.
It's either she's in love, or she's with someone already =O
She didn't tell me, but somehow, that's the feeling I got.
Oh well, I've seen this coming anyway.
But it won't matter coz she's happy ^^
On the other hand, all the more I should focus on other things.
Coz the timing's not right yet.

ICAs are pushing me to my limits.
I'll just take it in my stride, and chill ^^

2010-05-31T01:34:00.002+08:00

I'm still working on my projects.
My laptop has been on for 12 hours straight already.
I've been thinking of her for more than 12 hours already.
Sigh.

2010-05-30T23:44:00.002+08:00

I've lost the battle, but I've not lost the war.
I'm happy for her, even if it means she's not with me.
Being happy this way, carries a tinge of sadness though.
I didn't quite expect the joke I made back then to be true lol.
That joke however, was just a one liner joke.
"You're my heart heart heart heart heart breaker.."
LOL.
But I got over it faster than I thought.
Coz it's still not the right time yet.
There's still other priorities.
Until then, stay happy yo.

2010-05-30T15:23:00.003+08:00

Maybe, I can only give you that one part of happiness in life.
You know what I mean.
For now, I'm gonna compose a new song.
A song, that expresses what I'm feeling now.
No more rapping this time.
It's all.. pulling at heart strings.

How odd, that I had the idea of wanting to travel with u.
And I want to achieve that by the end of the second sem.
Then, that one extra line appeared under ur wishlist.
What a coincidence lol.
I'm convinced that the person ain't me.

2010-05-28T13:28:00.001+08:00

She told me before, that I was "good boyfriend material"
Probably it doesn't even matter now, right?

2010-05-26T16:45:00.002+08:00

Thoughts of you linger.
Feelings for you still remain.
I feel like there's nothing much I can do.
Not until I have the resources.

2010-05-26T01:05:00.001+08:00

Maybe she's in love already, but not with me.
I'm strong enough to let go.
Because love isn't about her being with me.
It's not about possession, but about wanting her to be happy.
I ain't sad, rather, I felt happier.
Probably, I'll observe from the shadows again.

2010-05-25T00:35:00.002+08:00

I so wanna celebrate lol.
Kbox overnight and get drunk! =O
But there's still gonna be school, if not, attachment again -.-?

Till now, I still can't determine whether I'm losing it.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
I'll leave this battlefield. Not because I lost.
But rather, I'm strong enough to let go.
If she's meant to be with me, she will be with me.

Another milestone in my life.

2010-05-23T21:56:00.002+08:00

Today, I've reached another milestone in my life.
It's just another step in my plans to success.
Of course, I'm very much happy.
This calls for a celebration ^^
But there is someone whom I wanna celebrate specially with.
I told you of my plans, I'm one step closer now yo.
Here I come ^^

2010-05-23T01:29:00.002+08:00

I hope those 3 lines are for me.
But deep inside, I know, it's for someone else.
"Never make someone your priority when you are only an option to them"
Just a line that somewhat had a impact on me today.
Coz I'm only an option to her, but yet, she's my priority.
When my friend said this, I was thinking along the lines of..
"Hey, if I'm the best option, it'd be only a matter of time before I'm a priority right?"
I got pwned. The line that followed was.
"It seems that currently you're not."
Straight to my face, pretty impactful, I'd say.

2010-05-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

Quite a nice song imo (:

2010-05-21T00:35:00.002+08:00

It doesn't matter if you're not with me in the end.
What really matters, is that you're happy.
Your smile makes my day (:

2010-05-17T21:18:00.001+08:00

At the end of the day, I still can't quite muster the courage.
I'm facing an obstacle that only I myself can conquer.
I've to get over it, and be stronger.

2010-05-16T12:53:00.003+08:00

There's something I need to do before I muster that courage.
Being a 19 year old made me feel like it's about time.
It's afterall, the last year of being a teenager >.<
I've planned out what I want to do up till 25.
With the skills and knowledge so far..
I'd wanna start building another source of passive income.
I haven't got an idea of which industry to go into though.
If anyone has an idea it would be greatly appreciated ^^

There may not, be another way to your heart.
So I guess I better find a new way in.